The Bicycle Diaries

Fatherhood - Harlan Coben

2010-03-08T12:09:00.001+08:00

The nurse came in. “You have to leave now.”
“No,” my father said.
“Please don’t make me call security.”
I could feel the panic start up in my chest. “It’s okay, Dad. I’m fine. Get some sleep.”
He looked at me for a moment and turned to the nurse. “What’s your name sweetheart?”
“Regina.”
“Regina what?”
“Regina Monte.”
“My name is Al, Regina. Al Bolitar. Do you have any children?”
“Two daughters.”
“This is my son, Regina. You can call security if you want. But I’m not leaving my son alone.”
The nurse turned and left. She didn’t call security. My father stayed all night in that chair next to my bed. When I cried out in my sleep, he shushed me and stroked my forehead and told me that everything would be okay – and for a few seconds, I believed him.

Sometimes my father leaves me awestruck. Fatherhood is about balance, but how can one man do it so well, so effortlessly? Throughout my life he pushed me to excel without ever crossing the line. He reveled in my accomplishments yet never made them seem to be all that important. He loved without condition, yet he still made me want to please him. He knew, like now, when to be there, and when it was time to back off.

- Long Lost, Harlan Coben

XK (8) Wistfulness

2009-12-31T12:47:00.002+08:00

today, as i was cyling, i saw a woman across the road waving frantically at a man running away from her. i stopped to be singaporean about it. theft? lovers' tussle? she thought he looked like a cab? then i saw him dropping stuff as he ran. his bag was open! so he was doing a real hansel-and-gretal number. i started screaming at the top of my voice. OEI!!! OEI!!! OEI!!!!!! this was one of the rare occasions where i had to say, my voice wasn't loud enough. wistfulness no.1: i should have had quicker thinking and screamed "OEI! GUY IN YELLOW SHIRT!! 穿黄色衣服的人"

too bad i didn't. so i crossed the road and started picking up all his stuff. turns out it was medication. i then started to pedal furiously after bus 60, which was the bus he didn't board. kidding. of course it was. wistfulness no.2: i should have checked out the medication there and then to see if i could have contacted him through the clinic.

as i was cycling after the bus, another dude on a bicycle stopped me and asked if i had picked up the guy's stuff! so i said yeah. and he said, "he's your who? (singlish for how is he related to you?)". i said i don't know him. then the dude said, "so why you help him?" and i said, just helping lor! wistfulness no.3: i really wish i had said something like "Cos Jesus Christ loved me first" or "it's always good to help people don't you think!" or "it's such a joy to be able to help others!" or "why not? it's always nice to be able to do a good deed". sigh. the failings of slow-wittedness.

when i caught the bus 2 stops later, he wasn't there! turns out he was only taking the bus for one stop. i started looking around for a guy in a yellow shirt (the 2 stops are only about 100m apart as this was an interchange bus stop). couldn't really see him. only then did i take out the medication and found out his name was Mr Tan C H. i then called the clinic and asked the receptionist to ask him to call me. wistfulness no.4: i should have realised he was making a bus transfer and just started shouting out his name in the interchange. i even contemplated it before i called the clinic, but thought it'd be useless! i'm not making a very good detective at all. not doing justice at all to harlan coben, jeffrey deaver, robert crais, myron bolitar, lincoln rhyme, and elvis cole (these are some of my favourite authors and characters in crime novels).

so Mr Tan finally called me back and told me he was already on another bus towards kallang. i then asked for his address which turned out to be very near the bus stop i saw him drop the stuff at first (see wistfulness no. 2). so i travelled back to where i came from. when i finally handed off the stuff to his wife, she was rather grateful. i said, "no problem. 没问题!" wistfulness no.5: i wish i had invited her to church or something.

My Family

2009-11-23T20:13:00.009+08:00

There was a series of messages over the weekend conference. Each saint's shared portions were so enjoyable. Brother Dave also released his burden on the message in a very exercised spirit.

I really enjoyed the words drafting and slipstream, which brother Dave used.

While cycling back, I saw and felt a bus passing me on the right. I tried to speed up to draft/get into its slipsteam. Basically, it makes it easier for me to cycle at a higher speed.

Brother Dave talked about Brother Lee's ability to pick out the spiritual significance and then see the divine principles. I really enjoy seeing these significance in everyday stuff/things that I partake of.

2 things.

1. The drafting speed needs to be maintained at a moderate/manageable speed to allow the slower rider to latch on to the slipstream.

One burden was that we should not be asking our children to be more spiritually mature than what they should be. I think that however, we should not set the standard too low. Yet, I am also reminded that in Luke, the Lord Jesus at 12 years old was mature enough to know that He needed to be in His Father's house. His parents were astonished. We should praise the Lord and not set a limit on their spiritual growth either. It is indeed comforting and humbling to know that our children's spiritual growth in the Lord is not anything we can control nor hasten.

2. Proper signalling.

Being in a pattern means that everyone in it are almost so close. Both figuratively and literally. When riding in a group, riders usually stay very close behind the front rider to enjoy the draft. The riders in the front needs to give proper signals and set examples for the rest of the pack to follow. Hand signals are used to indicate road obstacles, turns, even stopping. Imagine the front rider emergency braking and causing a chain reaction. Sometimes the messages are shouted and passed down verbally (HOLE! LIGHTS! etc.) ANYTHING to pass the message down and set a pattern for the whole peloton(group) to follow.

Praise the Lord we have such an orderly pattern today in the church. As the head of the house, the man should also set a pattern for his children to follow.

---

The main title of the messages were along the lines of caring for our young people and children. The main burden shared was for the household unit and parents to be living out such healthy practices.

That's why it's rather weird some of those points linked back to children and family when I'm obviously not ready for that. I think it's on a good and need to know basis, and anyone ;) interested I will most certainly share more on these messages. It is really profitable for those who are going to start being the head of their household. ;)

---

Oh, and this is posted here because there's cycling parlance AND more importantly this thing hasn't been updated in awhile.

My Fascination II

2009-10-10T16:50:00.002+08:00

Yikes!

My Fascination

2009-10-10T13:14:00.000+08:00

hey E

2009-09-05T10:55:00.001+08:00

hey man! so how's the weekly schedule coming along? does it suit your personal financing needs?

Ode to BX

2009-08-27T00:22:00.004+08:00

ok this post is not a morbid one. The object of focus is this bike in the pic. BX, it embodies what u had wanted in a bike; made of steel, have panniers, racks and aero bars to hang your plastic bag! cool boh?!?

My Friend/Baggage

2009-08-14T09:37:00.006+08:00

I crashd XR's room last night. I'm used to be a nuisance around him and I'm glad he is easy-going and don't mind my intrusion. As we sat on the corridor eating and talking, I realised that I can talk about anything and everything with him. So there I was, using my mouth to eat, and at the same time releasing my verbal diarrhoea. He must really like the mess I made because this time, he actually invited me to sleep over.

I had chained Blackie to a railing outside the hall, so now I had to go retrieve it and leave it somewhere near XR's room. The corridor along his hall is really narrow, and it was made even narrower by the clothes rack, shoes and miscellaneous stuff.

This morning I had to navigate Blackie back the same way through the narrow corridor, this time with my bag and helmet and the works. It was really difficult to handle so many things.

It would be easier if I had a broad way.

Enter in through the narrow gate, for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter through it.
Because narrow is the gate and constricted is the way that leads to life, and few are those who find it.
Matthew 7:13-14

It struck me that to walk on the constricted way, one cannot bring along excess baggages. My bicycle is difficult to walk cos the steerer is loose. My bag dangles all over the place. It'd be so much easier to walk along that narrow corridor without all these.

Can I let them go then?

I do appreciate having a form of transport that keeps me healthy and is relatively cheap. However, if I see Blackie as anything more than a form of transport, then I have some serious think coming. The aesthetics, the weight, the bling blings and even the brand names. Those will cause me to value Blackie for more than what it is really worth.

So I'm saying this: If one day I need to go through the narrow gate, and the constricted way; then friends, baggages, they have to go.

XK (7) Pump your tires

2009-07-31T17:06:00.002+08:00

keeping them pumped enables you to go further, better, faster, stronger.

have you pumped yours today?

My Climb

2009-07-25T18:46:00.000+08:00

The peloton will be making their way towards the final climb for Le Tour de France 2009.

Mont Ventoux has a little bit of history that dates back to TDF 2000.

Exams coming up in a week.
Maybe it's time I start climbing really hard instead of waiting for things to be gifted.

XK (6) Tired Tyre....

2009-07-13T03:17:00.005+08:00

so i blew out old hag's rear tire. blew out as in totally gone. wasted. wiped out. shredded. annhilated. obliterated. whacked out. goner. finito. hasta la vista baby.

i was cycling and there was like this piercing shreak right behind me, almost as if a glass bottle had just landed two inches from where i was. i looked down and started wobbling like crazy. i got off, looked at the tire, and saw the webbing of the tire. as in the white stitching that was used to make the tire in the first place.

i went to get it replaced, and realised i had to change the entire wheel. there was an original problem with it in the first place - it was wobbling. i didn't really pay much attention, cos i could still cycle. turns out, i had 6 broken spokes, which caused the tyre to wobble, which (could have then) caused the constant grating of the tyre against the belt, which (could have then) resulted in the a/m incident.

so many lessons.

we are that tyre. going on day after day, trudging through life and routine. then we spot a problem. it seems small. we disregard it. it grows. and it explodes in our face, leaving us to pick up the pieces, when all this could've been avoided had we addressed the spokes first.

a simple lesson really. one that we've heard many times no doubt. yet we fail to heed. the thing is today, it's just a burst tyre. but what if that burst tyre had led to a burst head? sometimes, we do not value the worth of considering consequences.

then there's the issue of striving. putting in your best efforts. never slacking. 'WE ARE CALLED TO EXCEL'. but we are called to excel over the entire course of our lives. sure, you probably could've done better for this or for that. but had you, would you have been able to continue doing so? would you have been able to excel in the other areas that you did?

don't beat yourself up. value the power of rest. for the act of closing your eyes is not to say 'i give up', nor 'i shall live to fight another day', but really 'this is the secret to excelling.' by addressing each spoke as it breaks, that tyre would not have tired, that accident-waiting-to-happen would not have been a possibility, that life would not have been potentially destroyed.

watch your spokes. the time 'wasted' is worthwhile.

take a break. the time 'wasted' is wraught with beautiful tomorrows.

My Plea

2009-07-03T09:07:00.000+08:00

My First Crash

2009-06-15T19:50:00.004+08:00

Saving you a few thousand words with 3 simple pictures.

My Decision

2009-06-14T00:42:00.002+08:00

Recreational.

It's easier this way.

XK (5) The right dude

2009-05-19T02:01:00.002+08:00

this post was inspired by "My Mechanic".

so my bike broke down one day. this was some time back. actually, she's broken down more times than i care to remember, but let's just stick to this one.

i brought her in for my guy to look at. he's this dude who's like the only one within a 5km radius, so he's super convenient. but the problem is, after getting serviced, other problems popped up. which brings me to my point-which-i-get-to-in-a-roundabout-way.

you gotta get the right people.

the right dude, is what matters. don't be swayed by looks, charisma, or in the a/m case, convenience. you'll only suffer for it in the long run. effort is much better spent in the initial investment, the laying of the foundation, in order to avoid the heartbreak of future. this applies to virutally every aspect of life.

life partner. business partner. leader. follower. mentor. advisor. and also, friend.

i got some really 'right' people, and that includes you ;). bugandang eh.

P.S. heard about you and your mom E! congrats once again. the restoration of relationship is truly the rainbow after the storm. i totally geddit.

My First Step

2009-05-15T18:11:00.002+08:00

... to being a Flahute.

Millions of raindrops. 50km. 2 hours. 1 collision.

1 happy rider.

My Mechanic

2009-05-13T18:29:00.005+08:00

Allow me to introduce my favourite bike mechanic.

This man has the best pair of hands for all situations. You can trust him with your bicycles. Be it a mis-aligned chain, messed up rear-deraileur, mucky brakes and mechanical failures, this is the man you want to see working on it.

Of course, that winning attitude of serving will make your (bicycle) troubles disappear.

Thankfully he's also my friend and buddy.

Thankyou E, for the countless times of support and listening to my (bike) problems. ;)

Ride safe guys. Remember who to look out for when you've got a problem with your bike.

E's random post

2009-05-04T01:12:00.003+08:00

Saturdays are usually the busiest day of the week at work. All sorts of people stream in. Some come in flustered, unable to ride due to a flat caused by road shrapnels. Some come in to buy that first bicycle for their birthday boy/girl. Some come in ready to splurge on that lightest/most talked about racing mountain bike. Some come in to simply shield themselves from the heat outside.

3 out of 4 are usually expats. You learn to get accustomed to the different accents over time, like repeatedly asking the old indian lady whose buying a new bicycle and has a thick british accent:

"isitwordit?" (O.I.L.)

"sorry mdm?" (me)

"isitwordit?" (O.I.L.)

"hmmm...?" (me)

"is...it...word...it?" (O.I.L.)

"oh! heh yes its worth it" (me)

The best part or rather the part i always cross my fingers for is doing deliveries or short trips to the ware house. Its time away from work while still working. A trip out would usually lasts for at least 45 min. That is time for me to breathe and just enjoy the drive. Away from the busyness of the shop and the boss. just one of the perks working as part sales man, part delievery man, part store man.

Grad day is coming. It marks the halfway of this long break from school. 2 and a half months later it be time to hit the books again. The past months have not been the easiest of months at home, having endless arguements with mom over money issues. sigh. and now she is giving me the silent treatment. this is one thing i am powerless over. the principle of lacking one thing. *wink wink*

How will the next half of the year be like? Praying that the school weekly schedule will be favourable for me to continue working to finance myself. BX, Xiong Kun do pray for me.

sidenote: wicked new tri frame design from ceepo; the Viper. Dealer's in Changi. http://www.ceepo.com/frames_viper.html

http://www.keypowerintl.com/brand_ceepo.php

My Excuses

2009-04-23T22:14:00.004+08:00

It's been very long since E and I rode in the morning.

On Tuesday, I could not wake up in time and E had to do ride by himself. Felt really bad so I scheduled to ride again this morning.

Woke up with a terrible headache. I think it's because I closed most of my window and left a small gap. The wind last night was never seen before in Singapore. (since when do you 'see' wind?)

I had enough of excuses so I washed up and gave E a morning call. Turned out he was sleeping when I called. We decided to cancel again.

Thought about the kind of headwind cyclists faced. Tonight will be a good time to experience that, if the winds decide to blow again.

Hopefully, we're not going to blow this chance to cycle by giving excuses.

Xk(4) relationships

2009-04-15T18:00:00.003+08:00

today on the mrt, a man asked me about old hag. i gave him the old spiel, but now updated with the patent expiry and slashed prices in the market (where exactly, i don't know). we continued talking cos i didn't wanna stop. and it turns out he's in publishing like my dad! then he said "tell you dad what he's doing is wonderful". well i smsed him, and i hope it put a smile on dad's face. hopefully taking that chance blessed my dad.

take (wise) chances when it comes to (potential) relationships. be really interested in people. for who they are, and not (just) what they can do for you. you never know where God might lead you.

My Reasons

2009-04-14T10:54:00.007+08:00

are uncertain now.

Race or Recreational? Why do I like to compete so much?

XK (3) True love

2009-04-11T04:27:00.002+08:00

i used to own a yellow bmx. it served me really well. especially with the training wheels. then one day, i decided enough was enough. i'm a kid no more! the wheels came off, and i was officially a cyclist.

soon my fingers started getting black and blue. they were being abused by my kneecaps. huh. so out went the yellow kid, in came the blue. bigger, better, faster. wow! totally fogot about the little guy.

then my parents bought mountain bikes themselves. WOW. biggerer, betterer, fasterer. blue? what blue?

and then came the silver bike. and another yellow bike. and you know where this is going right. in came da bike. and now, old hag.

my bikes kept getting replaced. i no longer appreciated them, cos they couldn't fit my needs, wants, desires. i had no loyalty to the bike - only to myself and what i required.

is that what love is today? why do we fall in love? "because you complete me". sure you do. but what happens when "do" becomes "did"? do we then throw them away, like some... bike?

the power of commitment - to have and to hold in sickness and in health, till death do us part - goes beyond the condition of the bike. it goes into the very heart of the bike. it goes into your own heart.

and therein lies the power of God's love. it is unconditional. U-N-C-O-N-D-I-T-I-O-N-A-L. it don't matter if you've got a BBB (broken bottom bracket :p), it don't matter if you're punctured, it don't matter if your spokes come off, it don't matter if your brakes don't squeeze, it don't matter if your gears can't work, it don't matter if your chain clinks and clanks, it don't matter if you're dirty, too old, too small. it don't matter.

it don't matter if you can't say what you mean, or mean what you say. it don't matter if your actions never fit your intentions. it don't matter when they do. it don't matter when your evil heart reigns above your super-ego. it don't matter when you've lost faith. it don't matter when you don't believe anymore. it don't matter when you find yourself in a dark place. it don't matter when you're stuck it a rut. it don't matter when you'd rather stay in the well than come up for air. it don't matter if you're drowning in unbelief, in sin. it don't matter if you've got low self-esteem. it don't matter if you're selfish and you know it. it don't matter if you're proud of being humble. it don't matter if nobody likes you as much as you'd like. it don't matter.

God still loves you.

the problem is, you gotta accept it.

will you?

E is nostalgic

2009-04-10T21:30:00.002+08:00

the days of bar end shifters and bright orange bar tape. haha its hilarious looking at the pictures taken before we gave our steeds the make over. and recalling how bent on going fixie/single speed we were that we spent moolas over it. much wasted. but also derived the best memories. and now that we are going the way of the STIs and of HRMs, we are on to the new phase/season of cycling in our lives. training!!!

My Mechanical Problem

2009-04-10T07:41:00.002+08:00

If there is a problem, fix it!

Things can still go on with problems. Yet, at the end of the day, I will inevitably think, what would it be if I actually tried to fix the problem?

Eventually, the hampering problem just causes other parts to fail.

---

I need to fix my bottom bracket.

My First Joyride

2009-04-05T22:50:00.003+08:00

It's been some time since I last wrote here. Hopefully after the exams I'll get more to write about.

Here is something I wrote on Saturday:

First ride with the Joyriders(http://joyriders.sg/). Didn't really know what to expect.

I guess it's this uncertainty that made me hesitant to join them despite Victor's many invitation.

So since today everything seems to be aligned and my bike up and running, I decided to go and give group riding a try. It helps that Teck and Eugene are coming along too.

The ride was not much of a 'group riding' like being in a peloton. Victor later said that it was more like a warmup lap(30KM for a warmup lap!?) for most of the other riders to do their own pace. This is also more newbie friendly because they'll assign people to take care of the slower and newer riders.

I'm new but I'm not really slow so I rode off the front most of the time with Vic. I think I did push quite hard and was rather aggressive in overtaking. Hopefully I didnt step on anyone's toes.

I nearly did collide with a lady rider. We were passing by a group of riders named "Absolut"(vodka?), when I heard someone call my name. It was Eugene! He smsed me earlier saying that he was tired and won't be joining us. I replied "Ok :("

Yes I'm a terrible friend for making him feel guilty. But I'm pretty sure he enjoyed the ride :)

---

I had a serious mechanical problem during the last 5KM or so. My BB cup started to come off! I didnt realise it then and I thought it was my cleats giving me problems and causing my pedalling to become wobbly.

I couldnt hand tighten the BB back so I just rode back home slowly with Eugene and Teck.

On the way back I wondered what might have happened if I went with Victor for their 70K Changi ride. :/

---

The company was amazing and I met made a couple of new friends. The group leader is a pretty friendly lady. I really felt the joy. :D

Although I suspect it's also being able to view all the expensive bicycles around me.

I was staring at someone's Liquigas team issue Cannondale (Supersix?) and it's BB30 and SI cranks. I think that's when Blackie got jealous and started to worsen my BB problem.

---

Some EC analysis: The food and drinks at the Shell station seems to be a tad overpriced. If they charged this higher price because of the cycling group, then I'd say it's pretty smart. Same thing for the drinks at Longhouse.

Mars Bar - $1.90
100 Plus - $1.30

Riding with friends - Priceless.

E's last hour as a 23 year old

2009-04-01T22:55:00.001+08:00

ouch.

E's day filled with Grace

2009-03-28T21:37:00.004+08:00

lao ban niang forgot about time off for me today. and was apologetic. let me have the van after the last delivery and allowed me to drive to DG. really really thankful and appreciative. lao ban playfully threatened to charge me for the use of the van and said to learn from the bible to be shrewd with money. *question mark* and he gave me discount for my cycling secret weapon. woohoo. Serfas Podium Road Shoe. SPPS. emily got the NTU letter lo. super proud of her. lunch on her man. tmr first ride with the church people. super excited. hehe.

E's living the dream

2009-03-26T23:21:00.004+08:00

this post is about me living the dream. not of an astronaut nor pilot nor successful head hunting businessman, but as a delivery man in a bicycle shop. how i got started living the dream is a story for another time.

its been two weeks exact since i've started working and its been amazing how God brought me to a deeper albeit still blurry understanding of why i am here in i had a conversation with the lady boss yesterday in the shop. i asked about my time off on alternate saturdays for cell group. and that led to us talking about her past as a christian for over a decade with the boss. how they were baptised, how she had been scarred spiritually and how she confessed she's backslided. that incident kept me thinking and its a funny imagining my boss being baptised. usually that would entail kneeling before the pastor while he sprinkles water that has been prayed over or full water baptisim. and i compare that to the boss he is now. hmmm.

amazing cos its a wonder how the employers share such a past with an employee like me whose just started working barely a month. living the dream cos its probably beyond my imagination wat God wants to do through me in my stint at the shop.

for now im doing abit of everything. delivery, repair, sales and storeman. to be faithful with the little things God has blessed with. and to be ready for the huge ones that are to come. will remember BX saying that God has in plan a ideal job this hols.

electric foldable bike anyone?

XK (2)

2009-03-26T12:44:00.003+08:00

a little about myself - i'm no serious rider. i can't tell a bike chain from jewelry, nor gear teeth from molars. the only dismantling i ever do is when my bike starts falling apart by itself. the thing is, i ride everyday.

it all began one fateful day in april 2006. i lost my wallet. well actually, i believe it got stolen. i took a dump, leaving my wallet in the library in my pouch, and when i came back it was gone. i am so thankful that for goodness knows what Reason [;)] my hp accompanied me on my journey, so it was safe albeit a little stinky. so anyways, there went my concession pass - i could no longer take my $52 a month unlimited bus rides. i really didn't wanna replace it, cos that would mean a replacement fee. but after Counting the Cost [;)] i realised i should replace it, cos it would do me better in the long run. while waiting for the card to come, i still had to travel around in the meantime. then it hit me - why don't i start taking the mrt? the concession's only $45, cheaper than bus! oh yeah - you gotta bus from the mrt to school. strike tha.... wait a minute. what if i didn't have to bus? what if i had.... a BIKE?! and thus began my love affair with DB - my first ever foldable bike. DB is a real copout for a name, cos it just stood for Da Bike, the brand of my bike, but it worked. and so DB came to be.

now with my foldable bike craze, came my crazy dad. he was at an exhibition for Big Boys Toys when he got introduced to the STRIDA. this is a way cooler bike, it's folding action is sleek, sexy, superb. it's got amazing finishing, is extremely light, comes with a bell, headlight, and tailight. it's got disc brakes and is extremely clean cos it comes with a kevlar belt - no grease (ideal for a hypochondriac like me)! and it cost $1200 (not good for the scrooge that i am). i waved away my dad's constant attempts to interest me in getting it. "come lah, i buy for you... it's really very nice! look at it [thrusts advert for STRIDA enthusiastically in my face]!" i managed to hold him at bay for 6 months. then one fine day in September 2007, i came home and found myself face to face with the confounded contraption.

it.was.beautiful. i cannot deny that. but i was adamant. i berated him once more for getting it (now that's another story altogether. in a nutshell, it was my mom who got it, cos she was so fed up with him for talking about it so much that she got it for him). i was loyal to DB! i didn't drop her! until of course she got a tire puncture. this time, i didn't wanna spend on repairs again - so with a reluctance that bordered on happiness, i tried the darned STRIDA. and i haven't looked back since (well, technically not true, cos when STRIDA got punctured, i went back to DB who was serviced by my kind mom, cos i didn't wanna waste money on repairing STRIDA, but then DB, being more than 10 years old got punctured again, and her gears fell off, and her brakes stopped working... so yeah. STRIDA has now ascended the throne).

oh, the STRIDA's name is much better than DB's though. cos i go everywhere with her, my gf got fed up cos STRIDA kept getting in the way - it's difficult to paktor and push a bike all over the place. so she said 'it's your wife right!' and i said, 'nah... it's just an old hag...' and there it was. old hag. what a beaut for a moniker!

i thank God that in the transition between DB and old hag, smrt has grown to be more accepting of our union. initally in 2006, i had to be as covert and nonchalant as possible, avoided eye contact with all security personnel, was banned from going into certain stations, and could only travel on certain times (something i flouted constantly). i lived in fear. but soon, smrt realised that unlike the singapore govt, it had to be more open to the vast variety of life that avails in the world. so it became 'foldable bikes allowed, but only during non-peak hours'. i travelled with greater ease, but still flouted the second clause with furtive glances. and lo and behold, in march 2009 - 'foldable bikes allowed, at all times'. VICTORY! we have been accepted by society! no more discrimination, no more fear, no more looking over our shoulders! i am now even friends with the lavender, bedok, and dover security personnel!

the thing is, how have my actions changed since 2006? they haven't. i still go on the train with my bike. the difference then is in the heart - the joy i have each time i do, knowing that i'm not being judged (by smrt at least), and that i am living in Freedom [;)]

so the point is, what's the use of God in your life, if you haven't needed Him all this while? what change is He gonna bring? well, let me just say, that even if your actions show an absolutely zero displacement between the time before and after to decide to accept Christ as you Personal Lord and Saviour, you will find yourself, incredibly, irrevocably, exceedingly, and amazingly, transformed.

ride safe.

XK (1)

2009-03-24T00:56:00.003+08:00

woah! this is a surprise... hello all. my name is fong xiongkun, and i'm a great believer in bingxin, and the blessings he brings to those around him. i'm not sure what role i could possibly have in this blog! but prayerfully i will move as God directs. hey there binx! always good to see you, on/offline!

E's first contribution

2009-03-23T21:36:00.004+08:00

hello! to the faithful/once-in-a-while-nothing-to-do/cycling enthusiast reader. thanks to bx's invitation im here. and to distinguish his post and mine, mine will be titled E's. no inspiration from nor reference to any sitcom/comedy. just my initials. heh. will be writing as often as possible to complement bx's entries. going for our first night ride later at 11pm.

My Favourite Team

2009-03-22T05:41:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if supporting a team meant anything. Will they win/lose because of one more person cheering them on? Since I watch alot of basketbal, my eyes are glued to the TV screen most of the time.

I have not watched any form of competitive cycling live and that's a real pity. I definitely wouldnt be able to watch any Pro-Tour riders live, unless a miracle happens that puts me in France this July.

So most of my cycling races come from the ubiquitous utube videos or eurosport.

Yesterday was the Milan-San Remo. My favourite team won!

Wait! Isn't cycling an individual sport? Why'd I say that the winner is a collective group of people?

Well to make it simple, cycling IS a team sport and although made up of individuals, cycling teams consider it a victory if one of their riders finishes first.

Therefore, other riders will all help each other in their team to win. How? I think that's another story for another day.

For now, here's the video finish to the race yesterday. Extremely exciting and called for a photo-finish.

Check out that bike throw!

The winner! Mark Cavendish from Team Columbia.

My Right Start to the Day

2009-03-11T10:13:00.003+08:00

Yesterday at the VCF Fellowship Teaching, the Freshman Orientation Camp people ran a hilarious skit on starting the day right with God.

My streak of days not riding to school stopped at 12. This morning I took the DiamondBack because Blackie is still a bare frame. It's amazing how beautiful the frame is by itself. Of course, the highlight was the debut of E's Black Gold. For now it is just black but the gold decals are on the way.

For me, I'm just happy to add 10km to my mileage. On top of that, I had an amazing headstart to the day.

I casually enquired about the bottle of home-made lemon tea, asking whether it was left over from yesterday. The proprietor(drink stall uncle) explained that he took pride in ensuring the quality of his products. I meant no harm because I am usually not careful with the things that enter my mouth. My words preceded my thoughts as usual, accidentally striking a conversation with the uncle. An encouraging exchange ensued.

Halfway through the conversation, the uncle shared that before the 1990s, he was not a patient man, much less a businessman. The amazing line came when he said:"There came a real change when I believed in the Lord Jesus Christ."(translated)

That line, besides being the best start to my day, struck me as the best start to a conversation with a stranger.

The timing was perfect. As he ended his testimony, came the delivery for sandwiches and pastries. He was off, busying himself with the work.

I do not know if his best start came from the quietness of the dawn or the constant presence of the Lord.

I knew that my right start came when Christ in us manifested through His people as they meet, share and encourage.

My GEMS Moments

2009-02-18T17:33:00.007+08:00

GEMS.

I remember this series of campaign which ran a couple of years ago. Go the Extra Mile for Service.
I think that's what it stands for. NOT General Education Modules.

To show my appreciation for the wonderful help received last week, I went to Bt Timah to deliver a card to Ellen. Ellen is the lady who helped me with the flat when I punctured for the 3rd time last week. Also, I owe her a dollar because the tube costs a dollar more than the money I had at that time.

Ellen was out for lunch but I didnt have to wait long. She kept saying that I did not have to bother since it's just a dollar. My friends know that I haggle after returning people 10cents. Anyway, it was just a simple gesture to show my appreciation for this display of GEMS.

I took Vincent's Giant OCR out for a ride later in the day. Made an unintended stop at the bicycle shop near school because I saw the owner in the shop! In my few trips there, I saw the mechanic tending the shop alone. The owner looked busy tending to a VIP from Taiwan. Despite that, he was cool enough to loan me some tools to adjust my seat. I ended up looking around and enquired about the CAAD8. I had a most rewarding conversation with him because I ended up robbing him later.

Yes. I robbed him of a CycleOps Fluid 2 trainer.

I could not believe my luck when my casual enquiry about a trainer brought a series of question pertaining to my reason for wanting to get trainers. Bike shop owner was extremely patient and understanding towards my limited budget. A lack of money coupled with indecisiveness makes for a tough customer in any sales environment. Sometimes it is so easy to just push sales and think about the bottom line. That was not the case here as he hooked me up with a second hand trainer for a quarter of the price. I am partial to used goods as long as they are good. In this case, the condition of the trainer was excellent.

How terrible of me to repay kindness by robbing him.
GEMS: Go the Extra Mile for service.

Matthew 5: ⁴¹If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. ⁴²Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

My Air

2009-02-14T22:37:00.008+08:00

Have you ever threaded on thin lines?

3 punctures highlights a frustrating week. I found out that my rear tire have been thinned out from almost 1000KM. Since I got a second hand tire, I have no idea how much more miles were put on it.

The first puncture happened at home. I realized it as I brought the bicycle out before Monday morning's ride with E. I reminded myself that checking and preparing my ride the night before is a necessity. I tried to fix the flat at Shell station in vain. Regretably, I wasted half an hour of E's time. Not to mention the disappointment of not riding.

The next was a timely puncture. On Wednesday, I told E that we'd go straight to school because I had 8am classes. I climbed to the top of a slope in school when I felt alot of the road. After the descent, I got a flat. This time it was my slipshod mounting of the tube. I was frustrated at my inept mechanical skills.
I looked forward to anything that took my mind off the bicycle. Thankfully I had a full day of tutorials and plently assignments left undone. Since I end CG at 9pm, I was tempted to leave the bicycle in school and take a bus home. Of course, I'd just be postponing the problem. XK kindly offered to take my rear wheel to the nearby bicycle shop to get the tubes changed. What seemed like a terrible start to the day led to an enjoyable time in school and also the subsequent ride home.

Armed with a properly mounted tube(and an expensive one at that!) E and I went for another ride the next day. Initially, I wanted to go to ECP but settled for our usual route. We didn't manage to go half that distance.
Yes. The wheel blew again.
We had breakfast at Adam Road and walked our bicycles along Bt Timah Road. We spent our time pressing our noses against the posh bicycle shops along the way. Our old steel bikes represented a pale shadow of the latest offerings of carbon and titanium.

This story might have ended on this sad difference between the "haves and the have-nots". However, we had a most amazing of encounter just a couple hundred metres down the road. Pushing our steel machines, I jokingly said we could go all the way down to my place and check out all the bicycle shops along the way. We stopped for a moment at the next shop, expectedly greeted by a locked door. (Seriously, most bicycle shops in SG opens late!)

A lady standing beside a SUV asked if we needed any help. After declining her kind offer and explaining our situation, we turned around to leave. Imagine our suprise when the same lady called us back and opened the glass door to the bicycle shop! All the time I was thinking she could not possibly be the owner! I am ashamed to say that I was prepared to change the tube myself. My embarrassment ended in full circle when she changed my tube in less than 5 minutes. I took half an hour!

As we rode home, I could not help but thank God for the little things in life.

To take a long walk after a short ride.
To enjoy the scenery amidst a cooling breeze.
To meet wonderful people despite the traffic induced lunacy on the road.

To have air in my tires.

My Importance On Maintaining Cadence

2009-01-13T12:05:00.008+08:00

Yesterday I did what I sought to do for the past 3 semesters: Ride to school on my bicycle.

It helped that throughout the December holidays, I've been riding regularly in the morning and re-adjusted my body clock (I'm proud that it is unlike a typical university student's sleeping pattern)

I've got plenty of help from E, Vic, Vince and Teck too.

I recalled that WJ, Vince, Vic and I went about our saturday morning rides after sending Matt off on his school trip. Around June last year? So it's been half a year and I slacked off riding abit when the basketball tournaments came up. Recently, after deciding to stop playing basketball, I found more time and energy to ride.

Previously, I was riding a cheap singlespeed road bike that I dug up from the remnants of a bike shop. It was all I ever wanted at that time. The rides were great and I'm just glad to be up and about when most others are sound asleep. We went to East Coast and enjoyed the great morning sea breeze, at the same time furiously pedalling along the dreaded coastal route.

My bike's been through alot of changes and I think I'd document that another day. The title for today reflects a lesson I learnt from riding a singlespeed bike (SS).

My only reason for getting the SS bike was to slowly pave the way to a fixed gear. A fixed gear bicycle ensures that the rider has to pedal at all time in order to keep the bicycle moving (YES and that includes going downhill) I naively believed that once I got a fixed gear, my pedalling strokes will become smoother and more disciplined.

I do not think that was a bad decision, the bad decision was to choose a gearing that most beginners will not even try. I went on 52x16.

The ratio means that my pedals will go 1 round (1 revolution) and the rear wheel will go (52 divided by 16) rounds. Much more rounds. The downside of course is that you'd require more strength to even pedal that 1 round first.

I wrecked my knees. BAD. My already bad knees.

I must admit that being able to climb slopes up much faster than others provided some sort of strength training and ego boosting. Now I realized my folly and my knees are paying for my foolishness.

Basically, cadence is really important. Cadence is a term reflecting how many revolutions per minute a cyclist makes on his pedals. My cadence on my SS will naturally be very low but I'm able to overcome it because I go further per revolution. A healthy cadence, for both the knees and also to effectively train stamina ranges from 80-100 rpms. It makes for a better cardiovascular workout and allows a rider to go further and longer.

---

For 3 semesters I've been on a singlespeed track in my academic pursuits. The result is disastrous.

I hope that cycling to school and the actual act of being in school itself will allow me to get more out of my education.

The race doesnt end May 2010. It goes beyond that.

---

Hope you've all learnt something today. Ride safe.

My Open Letter to Chew Chor Meng

2008-12-20T07:59:00.004+08:00

Dear Mr Chew Chor Meng,

The headlines did little to belie my excitement at your photo on the frontpage today. As I hurriedly flipped to your article and read it over breakfast, my hot bowl of mee tai mak tasted bland.

It is with sadness and also excitement that I write to you. It is the excitement of sharing the good news that led me to pen this letter. I do not profess to any medical knowledge beyond the common flu, having never heard of muscular atrophy nor the Kennedy's disease. What I do hope is to shed some light of my initial thoughts of your confession to your local church.

Granted that I don't know you personally, it is considered extremely inappropriate for me to want to talk about such a personal matter with you, more so using an open channel. I also am aware of the ST's ability to quote(or misquote) certain areas of the interview, especially about the part of your testimony in church which took place before the interview. The ZB's article shed more light on your personal struggles and how you went to church. It confirms my thoughts that at this present moment, encouragements and prayers are needed most.

My first onscreen 'encounter' with you was either the Witty Adviser or Young Justice Bao. The hilarious and convincing performance was enough to make this 9 year old your ardent fan. When I was 10, I took my pocket money and used them to vote for your in the 1994 Star Awards. Feeling smug the day after you made it in the Top 10 Artiste, I was given a shocking realization by my teacher who polled the class, "Who voted for their favourite artiste yesterday?" Needless to say, my hand was the first to shoot up. What followed was a line that I remembered when thinking of what to write to you: "Do you think that Li Nanxing or Zheng Hui Yu will give you anything in return or even know of what you have done for them?"

I stopped calling the year after but I watched almost every single show you were in without fail. I am 22 this year and I admit I have failed to remain a 'zhong shi guan zhong'. Just a couple episodes of Love Blossoms this year. However, I do believe what my teacher told me 12 years ago has come full-circle and gave me this opportunity for me to show my support and encouragement in these trying times.

At first I was skeptical about the turn of events having not know you to be a church-goer. My concern here is that if we were to look to religion, or Christianity to be a form of emotional release or a group therapy session, then we are just scratching the surface of God's will for the church and possibly heading in a direction away from God. I mean no harm no malice when I question your faith because I myself came to know Christ after failing my examinations and needed moral support. It has been a long journey of almost 7 years and I just hope to share with you what I've learnt recently about God.

I thank you for sharing your struggles and weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9 has always been an encouraging verse for me in difficult times: "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Paul was having a 'thorn in his eyes' and it has became his weakness. It's been suggested that the thorn was God's way of reminding Paul that he is human and has weaknesses. Most importantly, I think it is to remind Paul that God's strength can only be made surer and more clearly through Paul's weakness(es). Only then can the people see that what Paul is doing can only be God's hand upon him.

A lesser man would have buckled under the situation and dire straits they were placed into. Paul did not buckle because he had a complete understanding of what God's will for him is and how can God manifest himself through Paul. In fact, I would like to encourage you that Paul in the same verse went on to say: "Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." Chor Meng, I hope that your weaknesses can only be an opportunity for God to show His strength over this incurable disease. I pray that through you may people see a greater disease that is plaguing our society nowadays, that above all, family ties and support is of utmost importance"

On the issue of eternity, I wish that to encourage you that our prize is eternal and lasting as compared to the temporal and perishable awards in the world. I am reminded of the 2 parables of the hidden treasure and the pearl. What the merchant and the man in the field realized is that no amount of earthly treasures can replace the eternal prize that awaits us. The prize is not easy to obtain, if it was it would not been a prize. The short time you may have been given by medical opinion is still considered short in the perspective of eternity. Indeed, "You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (James 4:14)" 90 or 50.. it's still small compared to infinity. Therefore, I pray that having known our race has only started, let us continue to press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:14)

Once again, thank you very much for the on-screen memories and God-willing meet one day on the distant shore.

Don't worry, Be Happy.

in His love,
Khoo Bingxin

My Lack Of Trying

2008-11-24T10:56:00.000+08:00

My Agony

2008-11-22T00:36:00.002+08:00

My Friend

2008-11-18T22:16:00.002+08:00

As we near the end of the year - the arbitrary period of time set upon us, it seems appropriate to look back and reflect on past events.

My time-machine did not take me to Jan 1st 2008. I shot way over to Dec 7th 2005.

Having just passed out from my communications course in the army, I was posted back to become an instructor. Since our course has ended and the next intake due beginning of the year, I was given a couple of days off and cleared my remaining leave.

I don't think anyone knows this but I skipped the overseas church camp claiming that I couldn't take leave from Dec 7th to 10th.
I spent 3 days in the hospital when Kelvin was warded after another surgery and then subsequently placed under observation.
I could have went for the church camp and got to know some people that I'd like to have known better.
Till this day I have no idea what made me stay in Singapore. I'd like to think I was being a friend, then again I'm not too sure. What I am sure of is that he was a friend from the moment we met at the basketball courts in 2001.

I still miss K a lot but the regrets come only at certain times. Like now.

This afternoon, I watched The Shawshank Redemption yet again for the umpteenth time. I was near tears when Red narrated his feelings when Andy broke out of prison.

I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.

I guess, I just miss my friend.

My End

2008-11-02T01:45:00.002+08:00

Just caught Armageddon on TV. Isn't one of my favourite but I guess the whole end-of-the-world concept has fascinated me.

One of my favourite movie has to be ID4. I've watched it like 7 times on LD. LASER DISC! Haha. Yeah pretty ancient stuff. It's good that they're not make a sequel for ID4 cos I think that'd just spoil everything. The element of suprise and novelty is what made this film such a hit.

The part that always gave me goosebumps and send chills down me. (Cliche I know, but it's the truth!)

Anyway, it's been raining this couple of days and there's like howling wind and lightning happening ever so often. Woke up at 5am cos of the rain and stayed up watching the sky light up. Makes me wonder if the said coming is going to be soon.

Revelations 16:15,16

15"Behold, I come like a thief! Blessed is he who stays awake and keeps his clothes with him, so that he may not go naked and be shamefully exposed.

16Then they gathered the kings together to the place that in Hebrew is called Armageddon.

I don't profess to know what this verse means because I am sure there are deeper thoughts put into the writing of this than I can possible imagine. It ain't to scare people about impending doom, just the Word of God. To be feared and followed.

My Chances

2008-10-01T20:59:00.001+08:00

I walked at a pace much slower towards the basketball courts, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. I realised you could be anywhere from Tokyo to Toronto. I was in no hurry.

You are the chance that I am afraid to take.

I walked towards the baseline to receive the pass, hoping to score a last second basket. I realised the ball needs to travel 28metres in 0.1 seconds. Still I was in no hurry.

It was a shot I did not take.

***

On the train home after the game, I flipped open Haruki Murakami to begin my wildsheepchase.

Right under City Hall station I subconsciously felt the tremors of F1 engines roaring above. My beloved Lion City, host to international guests had done an excellent job of having the glamour well lit. 20ft under the makeshift racetrack, the pulse of our city ran through. The citizens packed into tubes blissfully unaware of the rumble going on. Sleep and rest paramount to them.

It was then a voice-over on the intercom asked for the person who sounded the emergency button. Time froze as I had flashes of Murakami's "Undergroud" before me. Could this be the cursed train ride that I'd unknowingly take. Even more important is: Would anyone bother to know who were on the trian in the event of an incident. Would anyone bother to know their stories?

I realised the F1 driver's crashes could splash the papers. They were in too much of a hurry.

This was a story that I undertook to writing.

My Story

2008-09-08T10:13:00.002+08:00

6 seasons of Scrubs in a couple of days have led me here to pen down some of my thoughts.

I am quite an indecisive wussy.

Then again, it must have been the car ride yesterday that got me thinking about all these.

(how much do you actually have to study to realise nothing is monocausal?)

Let's start with the ride, as everything starts from a ride.

On the car ride(not THE car ride) to lunch, I sat with 2 couples. The very fact that these are people whom I love and am totally comfortable with just eluded me. For the first time, I was thinking, what am I doing... alone?

Now I could comfort myself with the thought that somehow I am dearly loved by God. OR I could let go of an emotional crutch whom I mistook for God and considered how I am abusing His love by letting myself reach this point.

I didn't. Instead I texted PBK Rental Services(highly recommended! delivery right to your doorstep, excellent and friendly boss) and picked out the finest Skoda Superb available. THAT is the car ride that I'm talking about.

Fact is, I was extremely angry at my parents for not letting me have the car even though they're away for holidays. The most disturbing thing was that I never received the car keys nor heard anything from The Dad regarding this issue. Knowing that this matter will torture me mentally doesnt really change the age-old way we deal with our relationship.

Assuming the pseud0-parenting role of sending me sister back to her hall and purchasing her fund-raising pastry(in this case: mooncakes) somehow validated me and provided a bright moment in the extremely dark and deserted forests of Pulau NTU.

Then it struck me, I didn't need the car for anything! Not even to ferry my tired-ass back home from training. My disappointment came from the fact that me and The Dad are drifting further and further apart. It's one thing to have an argument every now and then, it's totally another matter to hear the disappointment of a loved one.

It's a startling moment when you see your reflection and couldn't help feeling disappointed at yourself.

After lunch I took a walk around Borders with the gang and found Tim Russert's book. While the rest left on to hang out, I reminisced the times Kelvin and I spent poring over books while enjoying each other's company. I was truly blessed with amazing prose written by the sons and daughters of wonderful parents, some living, some passed. In continuation with learning from the memory of dead people, the book can be represented by this excellent quote.

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."
Mark Twain

I'm already 22. Why am I still feeling this way?

This is when Scrubs effectively summed up my life so far. J.D's character resembles mine as a neurotic, hyper-imaginative pansy who simply cannot make a decision/always making the wrong one.

Well, just who compares himself to a comedy character? That's right, an indecisive neurotic, hyper-imaginative pansy! In short, Bingxin.

Something is telling me to be brave and do what I have to do. It could be my imagination, it could be something more. I just have to let go of that crutch I call God and start to see who He really is to me.

here we go again

2008-08-11T23:40:00.001+08:00

Diamond'sBack...

with a vengeance!

She looks pretty crude now so no photos.

returning

2008-07-24T15:11:00.004+08:00

Almost 2 months ago I gave away something, not expecting to receive anything back.

I'm tingling inside to go and fight for something I treasure. Should I? Can I?

Along with said object I gave away(yeah I didn't give away my heart or something as cheesy as that), came this slip of paper with the following written on it.

I carry a cross in my pocket, a simple reminder to me of the fact that I am a Christian no matter where I may be. This little cross is not magic, nor is it a good luck charm. It isn't meant to protect me from physical harm. It's not for identification for all the world to see. It's simply an understanding between my Saviour and me. When I put my hand in my pocket to bring out a coin or key, the cross is there to remind me of the price He paid for me. It reminds me, too, to be thankful for my blessings day by day and to strive to serve Him better in all that I do and say. It's also a daily reminder of the peace and comfort I share with all who know my Master and give themselves to His care. So, I carry a cross in my pocket reminding no one but me, that Jesus Christ is Lord of my life if only I'll let Him be.

Although I am always complaining about my father and how I most definitely will not be a father like him, I was reminded in the simplest of ways the extent of a father's love.

2008-04-29T22:37:00.002+08:00

Something I read that I hope will encourage me.

I'm looking forward to training after exams.

from Chris Riekert

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Today was a rough day. Like always my swim sets are hard but I understand what pain in the water feels like. I am able to just push through and grind it out till the end of the set. I finished my swim sets (20x50yd IM on 1:00 and 4x300yd on 3:45) relatively easily. I pushed my 300 set and went 3:30, 3:25, 3:25, 3:15 for the set. It felt good to be moving in the water.

The run was a different story though. Pain on dry land is something that I haven’t yet become accustom to. My track work out (10x400m on :90 and 2x800 on 3:00) seemed like it you be a walk in the park….wrong.

I was able to hold :80 for all of the 400s but when it started to get hard at the end of the set I started to bargain with myself to get out of the 800s. I told myself that I would go for a run later that night to make up for the lack of mileage I would miss from the set. I finished the 400s I stopped to grab my things walk away in defeat.

I took a drink from my water bottle and started thinking about how much better I would feel if I just finished the last mile. I thought to myself about what my competitors would do in this situation. Well, I am my biggest competitor. I am the one that has to push myself to wake up and go to they gym or to ride my bike or run. Skipping this set was giving in and taking the easy way out.

Upset with my self for even thinking about stopping I threw down my stuff and jumped back on the track. I finished the first 800 in 2:50 and the second in 2:40.

I understand that things are hard sometime and I know that I want to quit. But when I go to the starting line I don’t want to have any doubt in my mind. I want to know that I trained as hard as I could, I did every set to the fullest. I don’t want to give up. The pain that I felt during that set wouldn’t have been anywhere close to how bad it would have hurt if I would have lost a race by 10 seconds.

I’m going to be great. I am going to be myself.

Chris.

That's the guy who rode the bicycle so fast on the video below. Now you know how he did it.

wish i can pedal like this

2008-04-05T11:16:00.003+08:00

I always ride with that tune in my head.

Thereupatic isn't it?

Umbrella - The City Lights
If you see me at midnight walking the streets
You know it's me for I cannot sleep
I've pushed away the dreams, and spoiled the quiet
I'm propelled by fear, and not the righteous

So have you been to a place like this?
To see your breath as it paints against the sky
The fever is near
I wish you were here

I'm thinking ambitious
I've got this feeling that things will be alright
So go break a leg now
Been given the green light
So go entertain them
They're waiting for you
They're waiting for this

So have you been to a place like this?
To see your breath as it paints against the sky
Feeling so right and things will run
The fever is near
I wish you here

2008-03-26T17:17:00.003+08:00

I am winded. My bicycle's rusty. The rear wheels are in danger of dropping off because my axle and dropouts are worn and torn. My handlebar shakes when I go too fast.

Then again, perhaps I am going too fast.

If you think you have the best bike that you do not need to maintain it. You have another think coming along.

We need to keep our tires inflated. We are constantly told that we need to check our tire pressure.

Take a look at the video below titled:
Are You Going To Share This Clip Like Your Sports Trivia?

I am sure you had enough of my silly little obsessions about keeping your tires inflated. You must be thinking, this isn't even as much of a sports trivia as how many times did Lance get a flat tire? Of course, what I say and what I write isn't trivia! It's downright trivial!

Difference is I have decided to share this clip.

This guy has less trivial stuff to share.

2008-03-21T00:09:00.008+08:00

Question: Would you consider my cycling commute to be environmentally friendly? Or would you see me as a mental friend?

Anyway, here is something that's 'greener' than a bicycle...

YES! That is a bicycle with a BAMBOO frame. The model of the frame is, well... Bamboo.

The owner of this bicycle makers Calfee, Craig Calfee went through an amazing journey of making this bicycle possible. Part of that process is recorded here.

The Seattle Times ran an article on this last year.

2008-03-19T10:03:00.004+08:00

I thought I needed a little pumping up before embarking on this last few weeks of school.

My rear tire was pretty flat after I lazily left my bicycle parked outside for a week or so. Cycling on a flat tire is neither efficient nor enjoyable.

It is not efficient because I'd need to put in a huge amount of effort pedaling as compared . Steering also became much stiffer and less predictable(power steering... NOT!)

Somehow, knowing that I would not enjoy the ride, I made a couple of short distance commute on my flat tires. My saddle was absorbing much of the impact from the rear wheel and that just meant a sore rear end(sorrier end indeed!) for me. I could literally feel each and every tiny bump on the road. There wasn't really a point to avoid the uneven parts because it just hurts as bad to steer away.

Finally, on a commute to church one day, I decided to take a detour and visit the local petrol station. For cyclists who have not noticed, you are able to pump up your flats at this kiosk usually located near the exits/entrance of a petrol station. I being clueless previously, tried to use my hand pump for my tubes which has a rating of 100PSI. Obviously, that poor thing was too weak to generate that high a pressure and I was left with an even flatter tire.

I took some time to learn how to work the thingmajig (simply because I have no other name for it. The label just simply read: "AIR")

I could not remember a smoother and more enjoyable ride after the tires were done. (I did not dare to go to 100PSI cos the tires were already rock-hard at 90!)

As with all things, there's always an implication or food for thought.

Right now I thought I'll just get started with this and leave the rest for later. At least I won't make the mistake of being too lazy to pump up the tires.

affixed ride

2008-02-16T21:47:00.003+08:00

Today, E, Jem and I took a ride on The Van to the less explored area of Singapore. Alright, I have been there quite often but for us West-side boys, this story of our Journey to the East was pretty much the best experience I have had.

The reason for our pilgrimage is simply this: the Mecca of Bicycle Shops. The mission? To get our hands on the Holy Grail of bicycles.

The journey came about because E and I were itching to try the fixed-bikes only(i think?) available at TR Bikes. At least I was pretty desperate to try it, yet I am always quite shy to visit shops and ask for other people's service and stuff. That's why even when I'd always visit KH's place at TR, I am always reluctant to visit the shop.

Anyway, E suggested that we go round the shop to check it out since we were pretty near the place and we still had some time before the BBQ.

Alright, here's the story. Walking up to the shop, appearance kind of deceived us as the neighbourhood was basically an old, tired looking one. Most of the inhabitants were probably retirees and walking their grandkids on a lazy Saturday afternoon. A long queue formed at the at the nearby Singapore Pools outlet betrayed the romanticizing of us being in some secret suburban sanctuary.

Of course, there is the bicycle shop. One could easily spot the difference between the reason for our pilgrimage and the other local bicycle shops one might find in the heartlands. Simply, the shop was well organised and clean. The bicycles on display outside were extremely eye-catching, consisting of some really old school singlespeeds and tandems with panniers fitted at the back.

There are other bikes. Then there is the fixed-gear.

Fixay. Fixed-wheel bicycles. Track bicycle. Without being blasphemous, I call this Holy Grail of bicycles. Those who know my obsession lately with bicycles will know that I have been checking out the fixed-gear for a very long time. From videos, to websites and how-tos and even in my dreams. I can only imagine the countless hours I have wasted day-dreaming about riding on one of these myself.

The reality is, the ride was even better than imagined and definitely incomparable to reading or watching videos on it. I had a swollen ankle from a sprain 3 days ago and therefore could not go as fast or even use the toe-clips to attempt braking using the drive-train. Even with that, the feeling on being one of these was refreshing. I found myself constantly pushed up from my seat because the rear wheel was spinning the pedals against my resistance. Ridiculous as it may sound to most of you, I really enjoyed that 2-minute ride.

This experienced I had triggered this thought on the drive back.

How appropriate is it to say that once again, this seemingly worldly experience could relate back to my faith?

I have been reading and studying the Bible recently, both as an academic text and as a guidance in my life. Most of my knowledge about the Bible came during my preparation for A levels Divinity. The Bible really did come alive after studying through it and also from the guidance of my tutor. I kind of took pride in the fact that I was well beyond my peers in terms of theological knowledge. The Bible was real to me, the Word of God is not.

Alright, that sounds like a pretty blasphemous statement but allow me to go on.

Simply put, I later realised that the Christian faith that I am living simply revolved around head knowledge of a written text. The Word of God was not life to me. Jesus Christ was someone who's words appeared in red.

As with the fixed-gear bicycle, all it took was a short ride to have an experience that outweighs the hours of reading and watching.

Jesus Christ to me is my living God because He died on the cross for my sins and rose again to prove that only He can conquer that. I am told to be baptised unto His death and suffering, therefore I must experience this person of Jesus Christ myself!

Beyond the cliché that "Christianity is not a religion, but rather a relationship', there holds an important truth, we must have an experience with the person of God.

You could swing by your local bicycle shop for an experience just like me, at no cost.

Jesus Christ is also offering this experience of approaching the Father through Him. He bore the cost.

So many times we want to affix a cost and benefit to our lives and our actions. Jesus took the cost and affixed it on the cross. The benefit is there for you...

to experience.

positional santification

2008-02-01T13:26:00.000+08:00

I took a ride on Wednesday night 30th January with my partner-in-crime Mr. FXK.

It was a short trip we shared, from school to the intersection between Clementi Road and Commonwealth Ave. As we rode in sporadic silence and sudden exclamations of how amazing our ride has been, I had an epiphany.

The part which got me thinking was the long downhill from the the point below the covered bridge linking Engine and Arts, all the way down to the OED.

That downhill is not terribly steep but it is rather long stretch. Of course as most cyclist/runners will know, usually there has to be an arduous long uphill climb you would have to overcome in order to reach the a certain peak before enjoying the descend...

Actually, you do not even need to be either to know that. Isn't that common sense?

Alright that was not meant to be insulting to anybody who till then have not been able to see that , it was however, meant to lead on to the question: why would we know this little observation to be true?

My brain does not usually work very hard to search for an answer, but as I recall that event and the words of FXK, the story presented itself nicely and hopefully I would do enough justice with words.

The uphill climb was relatively easier for me than XK because simply, my bicycle was better. My wheels were larger and I had the luxury of changing gears for climbing. XK's foldable bicycle however had no gears and had donuts for wheels(just kidding). In order to overcome that slope he had to pedal hard and pedal non-stop. Consistency and effort was important as he summed it up: "I cannot afford to lose momentum."

Epiphany #1:
There is an answer to the question on why is the observation (when you want to come down, you must get up) generally common sense. This is because this idea somehow relates to our lives. We have this goal or place we would want to reach and then we overcome obstacles along the way to reach it. Most of the time we would think that after reaching this goal or achieving something, life or that part of the journey is going to get easier or smoother.

That sounded a lot like some silly generalization but hey we do relate pretty well to that illustration.

I have been sharing to friends about how amazing it is to wake up each morning and immerse myself in the presence of God, just seeking Him in the living Word each day. I do not think this comes easily but rather through the mercies of God and realising that only by constant communion with Him can we truly live a victorious Christian life, i.e the peak I have been looking for.

Once we lose momentum, we fall off the bicycle easily and that simply makes you look very uncool.

Then of course, next is the downhill part. Trust me on this, downhill is not the easy part after the uphill. XK was the first to go and that guy sped downhill with speed of about 70km/h (I realised later that he was so fast because of his 20KG bag that is placed in front of his handlebar.) So I let go and just sped down towards the turning traffic circle without brakes on.

AMAZING.

The speed. The wind. The exhilaration. If I had to find a reason why I am blogging down this seemingly mundane stuff, this had to be it! Which leads to...

Epiphany #2:
Once we are in the place where God wants us to be, when we heed that call to go up to the mountains and look over at the glory of His promised land. Once we get our feet wet and attempt to cross the Jordan river of our lives.

Once we do all that, God works.

When God works, all we need to do is to sit back and watch in amazing wonder how powerful God is. So powerful we do not even need to lift anything in our strength.
Many times in my service to God(or so call 'service'), I would end up exhausted and jaded. Now I realise that when we are in God's service, He really does put everything in place. All we need is to put ourselves in the place He wants us to be, which usually makes us extremely uncomfortable or torn.

OK. So why is this called positional santification?

This is a theological term that I have learnt and that means once we accepted the Lordship of Jesus Christ in our lives, we would be santified because of our position in Christ.

I write this because I have been deceived about this.

If we subscribe solely to the above(which is absolutely true), then we as humans will take the lazy way out and forget about progressive santification.

I just wanted to put across this new positional santification as being in a position where God wants you to be. Only then will He be able to work His progressive santification in us.

If you would allow me to take this further, perhaps why we as Christians do not grow in ways that God has promised, it is because we are in a position of compromise.

Let us leave the low lands and climb the mountain of our faith.

The climbing position requires one to stand up and pedal.

Stand up for the Truth, then keep pedalling.

in the beginning

2008-01-24T21:20:00.000+08:00

Well...

This is the start of the journey... It all started out because I wanted to take a ride.

We have all been riding along this road countless times. I have been going along this one-way road for 21 years already. I get carried, pushed, dragged and shoved along. Most of the time there is always someone leading the way, leading me along. Then of course, curiosity kills the cat and since I am considered a pretty large cat (my zodiac sign is the tiger), sometimes I kill curiosity.

The new dawn always brings about a fresh and sometimes unexpected twists to the journey. Yet it is this very unpredictability amongst all other things that one finds a strange attraction to.

I could go on writing in a cryptic way, but that tires me out easily. I am pretty sure it tires anybody reading this too. The thing is that I have been trying to write out what is on my mind, in the process realising what an impossible thing it is to do! This post, for a fact has been written in drafts and constant re-drafts in a period of 6 days. Each day there is something so real to me, deep in the recess of my heart, that burns me to share with people. Yet, somehow that burning did not translate to any actual writing.

So what is the straw that broke the camel's back? Why did I move my procrastinating lazy bum to do this?

It all started with a ride...

Because I want you to ride along with me.

There's many more curiosities to kill.